Discernment – Resistances need not be fatal | Ignite the Way
In the second episode of the Ignite the Way series on Discernment in Common, Kevin O’Brien, a Jesuit and educator at Fairfield University, explores how resistance emerges in group settings and how facilitators can navigate these challenging moments with wisdom and care.
Resistance is a natural and inevitable part of human interaction. Rather than something to fear or suppress, he invites facilitators to view resistance as an opportunity for deeper learning and growth. Resistance often appears in familiar forms: excessive talking, prolonged silence, challenges to authority, or humor used as a defense mechanism. These behaviors usually point to underlying emotions such as anxiety, fear of change, or a need for control.
O’Brien encourages group leaders not to judge these expressions as simply good or bad, but to recognize, name, and discern the meaning behind them. When approached constructively, resistance can be reframed: a talkative participant can be gently guided toward focus, a quiet member invited to share, or a light-hearted jokester acknowledged for easing tension in the group. At times, resistance can even serve as a healthy safeguard, preventing a group from moving too quickly or unreflectively.
However, when resistance becomes excessive, it can hinder progress. The facilitator’s role is to hold these dynamics in balance – honoring what resistance reveals while helping the group continue its journey. Ultimately, O’Brien calls facilitators to embrace resistance as an integral part of communal discernment and to remain attentive to what the Spirit may be teaching through it.
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