By Domingos Gomes, SJ*

The Mes Arrupe (Arrupe Month) has been a deeply enriching and transformative moment in my formation as a Jesuit scholastic. The workshops on affectivity–sexuality and priesthood helped me to understand more profoundly that human sexuality is an integral dimension of our vocation. By acknowledging and understanding it, I am learning to honestly embrace my own struggles and concrete realities as part of my existence. This acceptance allows me to embrace more fully the path I am following and to love others as Jesus does.

Beyond these workshops, the Mes Arrupe offered many consoling and enriching experiences that helped me to integrate the theology I am studying with lived experiences. In particular, I encountered the Passion, Death, and Resurrection of Christ embodied in the history of the Salvadoran martyrs and in the daily lives of the Salvadoran people.

One especially moving moment was our visit to the place where Father Rutilio Grande, SJ, Manuel Solórzano, and Nelson Lemus were martyred. I was overwhelmed with emotion and could only say through tears, “Thank you for your dedication and sacrifice”. When we arrived at Father Rutilio’s tomb, I felt a deep consolation and wrote the following message to the Jesuits in Timor-Leste:

“We have arrived at this place where Rutilio Grande and two other blessed martyrs were martyred. Faced with this history, my heart has come to understand that what we need most – and what costs human beings the most – is peace. No worldly wealth can buy peace; it is born only from a life freely given and from love that is truly lived. We ask the intercession of the Holy Martyrs, that the Child Jesus may be born anew in our hearts and grant us the grace to live a life filled with peace. May this peace take deep root in our communities, in our families, in our Church, and in our beloved country. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all.”

The witness of the Jesuit Blessed Rutilio Grande and the other martyrs inspired me to remember and deeply appreciate the Timorese martyrs, including the two Jesuits Ignatius Aria Dewanto and Karl Albrecht Karim Arbi, who were killed in Dili and Suai in 1999.

Another powerful experience was our visit to the place where Saint Óscar Romero was martyred. There, I felt the same deep consolation, which confirmed once again the truth of the reflections above. Listening to the testimony of Monsignor Rafael Urrutia, Chancellor of the Archdiocese, further deepened my understanding. I came to perceive that the Mes Arrupe is truly a journey with Arrupe to encounter Jesus, who continues to struggle for humanity through the lives of the martyrs in the Church and in Salvadoran society. Their struggle, often lived in solitude, mirrors the path of Jesus himself.

The lives of Rutilio Grande and Óscar Romero strongly echoed the life of Christ we reflected upon during the priesthood workshop led by Fr Uriel Salas, SJ. This workshop challenged us to discern what kind of priesthood we desire to live in the future: a priesthood rooted in the life of Christ (in persona Christi), or one shaped merely by personal ambition or worldly expectations. These workshops, together with the testimonies of the martyrs and of a Church that continues to witness to their sacrifice, shed light on our path toward becoming future priests in the Society of Jesus – priests of Christ.

The Mes Arrupe concluded with eight days of Spiritual Exercises, a privileged time to confirm these graces by encountering Jesus in silence. In prayer, I begged that these graces might penetrate deeply into my heart, receiving what Saint Ignatius proposes to every exercitant: the grace to know Jesus more intimately, love him more deeply, and follow him more closely. We need this grace especially in a noisy world where we often hear God’s voice yet act as if we have not heard.

Two contemplations particularly marked me. The first was the contemplation of the Cross of Christ. In my interior vision, I perceived Jesus nailed by his left hand, while his right hand held a crutch. Later, I recognized this image in the face of someone I know who lives with such a physical condition. The second contemplation was on the Resurrection, using the Gospel of Luke 24:13-35 (the Road to Emmaus). As I walked with Jesus and the other disciples, I asked him, “Where is justice for our Jesuit companions of the Universidad Centroamericana (UCA)?” He responded by asking me, “What is justice for you?” In my prayer, I realized that I did not fully know. Then, interiorly, I heard him say that justice is the cultivation of love in the human heart and the breaking of the chains of violence. At that moment, I envisioned all the UCA Jesuit martyrs seated at the table with the Risen and Glorious Lord. I am convinced that they continue to rise in every Salvadoran who passes through the UCA – continuing to inspire, animate, educate, and guide them through the presence of the Holy Spirit.

In conclusion, my heart is filled with gratitude to CPAL (the Conference of Jesuit Provincials of Latin America and the Caribbean), especially to Fr Hernán Quezada, SJ, who accompanied and guided us throughout the Mes Arrupe in El Salvador. May El Salvador continue to rise with love and inspire the world with the powerful truth that love is mightier than all else.

*Domingos Gomes, SJ, is a Jesuit from Timor-Leste currently completing his final year of theology at the CPAL’s Interprovincial Centre for Theological Formation (CIF) in Belo Horizonte, Brazil.